Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
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