Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I am in a vortex of obligation.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
