i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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