Its about making memories worth repressing
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
