But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
