pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
