You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
