Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
