Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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