is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
