She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
