ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
