speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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