Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
