dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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