If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
where does the pee come out of this thing
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
