I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
