I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
