He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
