Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
