you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
