if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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