Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Buhtt sex?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
