She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
