You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
