ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
