he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
