they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
