all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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