happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
