An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
