Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
