Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
