i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
