My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm gonna fight the coyote
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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