i just had sex bonerless
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I think people are normalizing furries
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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