She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
