Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
