Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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