Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
