I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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