we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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