quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Houston, we have a squirter
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
