plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
