i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
