It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
