I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
