So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Randomize
