Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
