I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
